What If Relationship?

There is so much talk out there in the world about suffering.  There is so much talk out there about 'those people' who are *suffering.  There is so much talk out there about how to help 'those people' who are suffering by ending their suffering.  There is so much talk out there about ending 'those people' who are suffering.

The logic these days (these last days?), in this distorted world, is ending a person's suffering is worth ending the person.

I am wondering if we jump on the euthanasia, doctor assisted suicide bandwagon because we don't really know 'those people'?  They aren't in our lives.  I didn't know Mrs. Schaivo. 

What if I did?  What if she weren't just the woman I read about online or whose story I watched on the evening news?  What if she weren't the woman whose disability was described differently in each article or story, as if reporters or bloggers couldn't exactly explain what was 'wrong' with her?

What if she had been someone in my life, say a friend or a family member or a woman I cared for as a caregiver?  Would I be so easily tempted to talk about her in the abstract and form opinions about her based on different articles all written from different points of view?

If I had a relationship with Mrs. Schiavo, would it make it easier to recognize her life's worth, her dignity, and her personhood and do my very best to see that she has the best care and support and found a way to see that her bridge to Mrs. Schiavo and community stayed strong?  Or in my pain of believing someone I love was suffering, would I accept the distorted philosophy of euthanasia?

What if I had a relationship with Mrs. Schiavo's family?  Would I, in my fear of Mrs. Schiavo's disabilities, encourage her hurting family in the route of euthanasia?  Or would I offer real, practical support, by way of sharing in the care of Mrs. Schiavo and of the family?

What if relationship with people with serious and profound disabilities and their families took those with disabilities out of the abstract in debate about human life and made them real people to us?  Would we see ending their 'suffering' worth ending their lives?  Or would we find a way to relate to them in their suffering, and instead of trying to end it their suffering at any means, would we recognize suffering as a shared human experience?

*Side, but important note, many with disabilities do not see themselves as actually 'suffering' in the way that suffering is used in the media and politics.  They see their lives as normal, albeit with some hard things in their lives, but they resent that the rest of us see them as 'suffering'.